How To Increase Landing Page Conversions By 500%

Throw everything you know about landing pages out of the window.

Oh? You want to increase conversions by 500%?

Guy throwing a laptop out the window
Guy throwing a laptop out the window
You throwing everything you know about landing pages out of the window.

1) Okay, so we want to create a BIG change in conversion rate.

2) Oh no, you’re still reading.

3) Next, analyze whatever the hell the business does for a living.

4) Now analyze the underperforming landing page in question.

5) Ask the insane person who gave you this task (who I hope is paying you VERY well for this) for the numbers.

6) Next, we’ll want to tackle the ad issue because of what I said before.

7) Time to do your own research.

8) Take a break to let all this info sink in. You’re not a robot.

9) Chill pill taken? Had a good weekend? Awesome, back to work.

10) You might need to rethink or overhaul the whole campaign, not the landing page itself.

11) Confront the person that hired you and tell him everything he’s done wrong up to now.

12) Get fired for the lack of respect you’ve shown during the meeting and never get paid or hired again.

12) RESPECTFULLY and COURTEOUSLY present your findings and tell them what you’ve discovered.

13) Hopefully, the space-time continuum has been kind and you haven’t been fired in this reality (yay!).

14) With the 2756 pages of research you’ve dug up, it’s time to consider everything you learned.

15) Okay! Now, what about the landing page? What should its conversion goal be?

16) Finish the rest of the campaign (whatever that might entail).

17) Congrats, you survived. Good job! Now it’s time to A/B test the hell out of it.

18) Get on your knees and pray to GOD it converts.

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